Brian: This one is like being on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World. It’s professionally scary. Which means not scary. But I still kinda like it.

Lindsey: There is way too much going on here. They need to pare down their concept.

Grade: B+

Lindsey: This one is actually pretty scary if you walk by it at night. Also, the white one is hung by it’s neck, and has a creepy gallows moment happening. Brian: When it’s windy these ones feel like they’re attacking you. They haunt my dreams.  Grade: A

Lindsey: This one is actually pretty scary if you walk by it at night. Also, the white one is hung by it’s neck, and has a creepy gallows moment happening.

Brian: When it’s windy these ones feel like they’re attacking you. They haunt my dreams. 

Grade: A

Brian: The is literally the opposite of scary.  Lindsey: What is the opposite of scary? This is that.  Grade: E for Effort

Brian: The is literally the opposite of scary. 

Lindsey: What is the opposite of scary? This is that. 

Grade: E for Effort

Brian: You can’t really see it from the picture, but those skeleton gates are pretty cool.  Lindsey: There’s a weird white thing sitting on the bench that might startle me if it was dusk and I was listening to Lana Del Rey.  Grade: C+

Brian: You can’t really see it from the picture, but those skeleton gates are pretty cool. 

Lindsey: There’s a weird white thing sitting on the bench that might startle me if it was dusk and I was listening to Lana Del Rey. 

Grade: C+

Brian: I’m scared this tree will molest me.  Lindsey: Lose the streamers, tree, you’ll get a lot more victims that way.  Grade: C-

Brian: I’m scared this tree will molest me. 

Lindsey: Lose the streamers, tree, you’ll get a lot more victims that way. 

Grade: C-

Brian: Cool pumpkin, awesome skeleton flamingos, it’s like subtle, man. Lindsey: I wish they went for the full graveyard effect, but those flamingos definitely didn’t come from Rite Aid.  Grade: A-

Brian: Cool pumpkin, awesome skeleton flamingos, it’s like subtle, man.

Lindsey: I wish they went for the full graveyard effect, but those flamingos definitely didn’t come from Rite Aid. 

Grade: A-

Lindsey: I can’t deal with the way that Frankenstein is embracing the year-round wishing well. Back off, Monster.  Brian: It’s like he’s worried we’re gonna take it from him. And we don’t want it.  Grade: C

Lindsey: I can’t deal with the way that Frankenstein is embracing the year-round wishing well. Back off, Monster. 

Brian: It’s like he’s worried we’re gonna take it from him. And we don’t want it. 

Grade: C

Brian: This is like a tastefully appointed Bed & Breakfast.  Lindsey: Who would want to stay here?  Grade: B

Brian: This is like a tastefully appointed Bed & Breakfast. 

Lindsey: Who would want to stay here? 

Grade: B

Lindsey: Considering the stroller traffic on this block, this pumpkin is acceptable. Scary: no. Means there’s candy in the house? Yes.  Brian: This pumpkin has nothing to be this happy about.  Grade: B-

Lindsey: Considering the stroller traffic on this block, this pumpkin is acceptable. Scary: no. Means there’s candy in the house? Yes. 

Brian: This pumpkin has nothing to be this happy about. 

Grade: B-

Lindsey: Those aren’t even realistic spiderwebs. Brian: This one’s just gross.  Grade: D

Lindsey: Those aren’t even realistic spiderwebs.

Brian: This one’s just gross. 

Grade: D

Lindsey: I don’t even know what to do with this one. There are WANTED signs in the tree. Vague concept, no execution. Brian: Lindsey, you are wrong. These are very cool.  Grade: B+ (Lindsey gives this a C.) 

Lindsey: I don’t even know what to do with this one. There are WANTED signs in the tree. Vague concept, no execution.

Brian: Lindsey, you are wrong. These are very cool. 

Grade: B+ (Lindsey gives this a C.) 

Lindsey: Spiderwebs do not a scary house make.  Brian: It looks like vandalism.  Grade: C-

Lindsey: Spiderwebs do not a scary house make. 

Brian: It looks like vandalism. 

Grade: C-